Be Careful What You Wish For
by JustBeAQueen
Summary: You can't teach old dogs new tricks, but what do you do when an old trick starts barking up the wrong tree? Sometimes the past should stay where it belongs…or should it? Justin/OMC, for now. Post-series. One year after series ended. Can be read alone, but this is a sequel to What Do You Want for Your Birthday?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

This can be read alone, but characters might make more sense if you read "What do you want for your Birthday?" first.

**Chapter 1**

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><p><strong>Justin's POV<strong>

I can't believe it's been a year already, actually more than a year, but who's counting? I'm not, nor will I admit that I have a calendar just for counting, that would be fitting of a teenager with a silly crush. Shut up, I know you're thinking that I was. Well, I wasn't. Everyone may have thought that I was, but I honestly loved Brian. Many don't believe in love at first site, but I did, still do, because I experienced it. Course I was also young, naïve and immature, regardless of how intelligent I was. Book smarts are no substitute whatsoever for street smarts, especially when said street is Liberty Avenue and you've fallen for the elusive predator known as Brian fucking Kinney.

So, yeah, over a year since I left…left my life, my home, my friends, my family…and the one person who meant more to me than all the money, fame and art in the world. My boyfriend, partner, fiancée, love of my life, my world. Whatever you want to call him. I know that may sound poetic, romantic, probably maudlin, depressing and pathetic. I hate when I have times like this, nothing to do (or at least nothing urgent that needs to be done right now), nowhere to go, just time, only time…only time… "_Whether we see each other next week, next month…never again, it doesn't matter, it's only time."_ Fuck! I hate when I get this way, when all I can think of is him, Brian, my Brian.

I know we'll be together again someday (no I'm not being romantic, just realistic, because I KNOW), someday soon, if I have any say over that, which I know I do, but I also know where I want to end up, which is unfortunately not up to me. It still bugs me when he said never again. God, I can still picture his face. So many emotions: pain, heartache, loss, sorrow, but also love, devotion, friendship, selflessness. He's always been selfless, even though most don't think it or realize it. He does so much for so many. Each time putting everyone before himself, including me, always me, maybe especially me. I know he wanted me to be independent, to make my own way and I guess in a way, I needed that. I needed to grow and be my own person without relying on anyone.

It certainly wasn't easy and I won't bore you with the details, but it took several months of self promotion and trekking all over this damn city, while finding and keeping a job to help with rent and living. I'm glad I still had money from Rage: The Movie and the comic (and a bit from that show that inspired my move in the first place, but after everything I've been through I understand the need to save as much as possible). That definitely helped with up front and initial costs. But I knew I would need a job so I had steady income and wouldn't have to use up my savings. It isn't until I was truly on my own that I realized how much everything costs and what those expenses mean. Clubbing was certainly out. Not that I had time anyway, but with drinks, cover charges, cab fare, and then trying to sleep long enough to still support myself, and not at a job like the diner where if I was late it was no big deal.

I'm a waiter at an upscale restaurant where I have to be on time and while I'm afforded a slightly flexible schedule (I'm an artist and the whole starving artist thing isn't lost on the management, not to mention with school they kind of understand). I even have a uniform at the restaurant. I mean it's a great place, I wear black slacks, and white long sleeve button shirt with tie and pocket square. As formal as it sounds, it is hot, but it's definitely not the kind of place you could go into the bathroom for a quick fuck. Not that I haven't had the opportunity, to most gay men, it's obvious that I'm gay and I've been propositioned a few times, but I like having a steady income way too much for a quick fuck. Not to mention that if I flirt just enough (more than being friendly, but less than let's go for a quickie) I get fabulous tips from most gay guys and plenty of women (especially when they're in a group for like lunch or dinner without the family).

So, like I said, I have decided to go back to school. I really want to finish my degree. By now I'm successful enough to have had a few joint shows and sold several pieces to smaller galleries and local businesses. But this is art, I may be hot now, but you never know when the next big thing will come along. I know I'm good, brilliant even. I know my art will always be asked for and wanted, but as with anything, styles come and go, there are fads in the art world, too. My art won't be in demand any more, one day, so I need a backup plan.

Because I had actually chosen to leave PIFA the last time to go to LA, it was easy to transfer everything. I originally looked into NYU (I mean who wouldn't, right?), but honestly Marymount was a lost closer to what I wanted to do, and I even get to focus on my preferred mediums: Studio art, graphic design, and (because I really wanted to) gender and sexuality studies. The graduate degree in Arts and Politics sounds truly interesting, but that will have to wait till I'm finished with the school I'm at, not to mention if I did that I'd have to be in New York for that, not living out of state. I know I live in New York right now, and I will be for a while longer, but I also want to go back home. That's right, home, where my heart is (oh, shut up, you always knew I was the hopeless romantic one).

I will finally be done with my degree at the end of this Spring, thank god! I was thinking of inviting everyone here, but some of them can't afford the airfare, and are too proud to accept help. I know Brian *sigh* would be able to pay, but I'm not sure he'll be here. Oh, who am I kidding, he'd come if I ask, but I don't know if I want him to. There are times like this I miss him so much it almost makes me want to quit. And there are those nights when I'm just awake enough to not collapse in bed I imagine he's here holding me whispering sweet "Brian" nothings in my ear. _Go to sleep, Sunshine, you're tired, I'll be here when you wake up, ready to pound your tight little ass into the mattress then sucking your cock dry._ Great now I'm hard…but I can still hear his voice. It's easy to be hard when thinking of Brian, but it's hard to be hard when knowing he's not here.

I must admit I haven't gone too long without hearing his voice. It took me forever to contact him the first time (well, not literally, but it seems that way). We talk every couple of weeks. It's short and simple. There's nothing much to say and things like I love you, I miss you, I wish I was in your arms, I'm really fucking horny or I want to come home, never seem appropriate. We know, every time we talk that we love each other, it's obvious we miss each other. The horny part – also obvious – we're gay men and he's Brian Kinney. As far as anything else shared, I know I'm here and we both want me to finish what I've started. When I have the time to think about Brian, how he changed and what might happen when I go back home I want to roll my eyes, shake my head, laugh, run into Brian's arms and scream at him all at once.

I knew he pushed me off Mt. Kinney, again. Pushing me away to find my own way. I realize now that he actually did change and through my own thoughts (retrospectively speaking) and the gay grapevine (starting with Debbie, of course) I know that he was willing to stop tricking, be monogamous, and marry me (wow, I still get choked up at that and that's how I know we'll be together again soon, because those thoughts and feelings are still just as strong and powerful as they have always been). I also know that his tricking, drinking and drugging are almost non-existent. Of course it helps that Ted is still my accountant, and oddly close to Brian, so I hear all about him in relation to Kinnetik and Babylon. I know he's rarely at Babylon, unless he's in the office, and as far as Kinnetik, he no longer uses his tried and true persuasion methods of getting accounts.

He also spends very little time in the backroom, and another reason I know he's changed (we've both changed actually), because when he is in the backroom, apparently blow jobs are the only things going on. Which is kind of weird, since that's the only thing I do, as well, when and if I have the time and the need. I never used sex like Brian used it, and while, sure there was a time where I was always horny so fucking all time seemed great, but I didn't need to. Jerking myself off was perfectly suitable, and certainly a lot cheaper, with absolutely no travel involved. Getting a blow job also takes some control out of the picture. Obviously being blown puts you in power and the trick on his knees has very little, but it's a lot easier for him to walk away and say no than when you're actually fucking someone.

Neither one of us talked about it, and there are no rules or agreements or anything. It just seemed to be something we have silently and (possibly) unknowingly agreed on. Blow jobs are a lot less personal and (as much as I hate to say this, but it's unfortunately true) is a glory hole that you know what you're going to get. That's so not the case with Brian and I, he gives the world's best fucking blow jobs, ever (and I know he'd say the same to me *smile* "_you can give yourself head_?"- only Brian would think that – course then he'd never leave his loft).

So anyway, I know that neither of us is fucking anyone else, and to be honest, I don't want to. Getting a blow job is more exciting than a hand job at home, but when I've had the absolute best, why would I want anything less than that regularly? And let me tell you Brian is the best, at fucking, rimming, sucking, ramming, touching, kissing, making love, whatever we do, and in whatever room, and on whatever surface, he is the fucking best!

It's funny that neither of us fucks others. It's not like we're in a relationship, we're not cheating, we're not even engaged *sigh* any more. Okay that hurt a little more than I thought it would. But, well, I guess you could use the word relationship, but that would be labeling what we have and the only labels we're interested in are the ones in our clothes (well, for Brian anyway). I don't care about any labels. Maybe at one time I wanted that, wanted Brian to admit something, to be or say or do something to prove what I mean to him. Well, if Brian Kinney buying a country manor of my dreams, for his prince, that he would give anything, do anything, be anything to make me happy, and willingly marry me to show me how much he loves me, doesn't prove how much I mean to him, then not a fucking thing in this whole wide fucking world will.

So where was I? Other than the mind wandering to that perfect evening. Brian and I have had some fucking hot moments, loving and romantic moments, too. We've even had long periods of time of being truly happy. But nothing compares to that night. Course the morning that next week when we sent our announcements was pretty fucking hot. The loft is huge and doesn't have tons of rooms, but we fucked in every room in the loft, more than once (definitely more than once in the shower)…but that night at Britin (that really was the manor of my dreams, it was a huge property and after the tour Brian gave me, I knew exactly where I wanted my studio – there was a sun room, over half the size of the loft – that was so well built it looked like part of the house and was completely insulated and weather proof and of course, you could see the enormous back yard), but that night, Brian showed me the rings, said he loved me each time he came, and few times in between.

Do I regret my time away? At times, yes. I know Brian would say no regrets, but I do regrets, but I also wouldn't have changed this time. I am me, I could be who I needed to be, and ( I think Brian did that on purpose) my limited contact with Brian kept me thinking of what I needed to do here, not of what I wish I was doing somewhere else.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And it's absolutely true, if there's one thing I've discovered (aside from my artistic abilities) is that Brian is it! There are a lot of beautiful men in this city, some of them are close to as sexy, intelligent, hot or talented as Brian, but absolutely, unequivocally, undeniably no one comes close to Brian. I have never felt towards anyone what I have ever felt towards Brian. I fell in love with him (heart, mind, body and soul) that first night with him, and through all the shit we've gone through I have never stopped loving him. And yes that includes all the times I've left, all the times we've been apart.

My loving him was never lacking. Course, I think now I could show it a whole lot better and I know Brian can show it. He always was, he just never used to think about what I thought of all his actions put together. On the other hand, I can be accused of the same thing. I don't see this time in New York as my leaving Brian, it's me seeing and discovering who I am and what I can do, on my own. I'm not quite sure what Brian thinks of my leaving, but still, I think back (again) to the look on his face our last night together and I can only assume he thought I would leave and get so consumed and busy and successful that I wouldn't want to come back.

I'm not sure how that fits into how often we talk, but maybe that's why he keeps it simple. And I'm not going to delve deeper into the Kinney psyche than he's willing because at that point he'll shut down and it'll be a lot longer than normal before I hear from him again. And regardless of what I do here and how long I'm here, I have to hear him. Even if we don't see each other, and we might even go a month without talking. We still email each other (full of unimportant bullshit, but enough to know we're thinking of each other). That contact says something, if nothing else than that he hasn't forgotten me, and (maybe more importantly) I haven't forgotten him.

If that first night at Britin was perfect, then that last night with Brian, at his loft, was indescribable, unbelievable, mind boggling, extraordinary, beyond words, it was too much, too big, too many things all at once, physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually (yes, sex like that, making love to Brian like that was spiritual). I felt it everywhere, still feel it when I think about it, if the soul can feel, it still holds that imprint forever, and it's holding it's breath till I can feel Brian again. It was tender, loving, gentle, open and beautiful. Even more so than the first time he made love to me, more than that night at Britin. It was also laced with sadness and loss, for what might have been, for what we could have had, for all that we meant to each other. His eyes were more open and expressive that night than I had ever seen them. For that look alone, that last look, hug, cuddle, when he held me to him so tight as if I could be absorbed into him and never be able to leave, I had to leave.

Stop what you're thinking, that's not what I meant. I didn't leave him, but leave…I don't know, leave me behind? Leave that fear? Leave that uncertainty? Brian was right when he told me I would regret not doing this, maybe not soon, but at some point I would regret it. And it would destroy me not knowing. Now not only do I know but I know, with a definite clarity and certainty I've never had before, that when I go back, if Brian will have me, we will always be together. I still don't need the ceremony or rings or vows and the stupid golden gardenias or the fucking heterotypical seating chart. I don't even need the manor, although it would be nice if we could look for a place together.

I love the loft. It was definitely Brian, and for a time, it was me, but we're not those people any more, and I wouldn't particularly mind *smile* if we could find a place free of all the tricks and bad memories, you know provided the new place has a shower built for two. Listen to me, planning a future that I have no idea will happen (not that I'm giving up, this is me we're talking about… twink who stalked Brian Kinney and got him). Well if nothing else, I certainly feel better. I know I was feeling sorry for myself. I've been crazy busy lately and with being my last semester and not going home for the holidays and preparing for my final project and waiting to hear about the possibility of my first solo show shortly after graduation, not to mention my whatever the fuck tonight.

And now you're wondering what the fuck? Well, let me tell you, I'd have to agree. Okay, so I don't have a date, I don't do dates…and no this is not connected to Brian, has to do with Brian, nor am I keeping something from Brian. I don't see anyone other than Brian, I would think you would know that by now. I learned my lesson, once, never again (now, and about that, I can say that). I said before, if you weren't paying attention, Brian is it for me. I know this, always has been, always will be.

So now you're wondering what the fuck does any of that have to do with anything? Well, I'm going out tonight, specifically, with one person. I refuse to call it a date, because it's not. First, I'm not going on a date because it's not with Brian, so therefore anyone else gets lower status. Second, I don't even know the guy, it's some friend of a friend, and I've been picked to "show him a good time" – and not how you think. Third, I don't follow the Brian Kinney dates are bullshit logic, and while dates have a purpose and can mean something special to both parties involved, that is the exact reason this is not a date. Dates have expectations and meaning and sentiments attached. There is a sense that going on a date means someone's going to lucky. Well good for him, cause it's not going to involve me. So based on all that, not a date, because with Brian Kinney permanently residing in my mind and heart, there's no way I could consciously agree to go on a date with anyone else, because I know it will never go anywhere.

So now you must be wondering about this friend of a friend right? Why am I going, why me, and what exactly is wrong with this guy that he can't find someone on his own? Believe me, I asked all those questions the moment he suggested it. So there's this guy (oh god, how corny does that sound)…that is the, what was he…oh yeah, best friend's son… no wait, cousin? I don't remember. Anyway, this guy knows the owner of the gallery my last show was in.

This guy has apparently been out of town for while and Stephan wants me to take him around town. I know the guy lives here, when he's here, so he already knows the city. But he travels a lot on business and I think Stephan just wants to set him up with someone since he knows we're both gay. And while he is open and accepting, he's kind of traditional in his views, so that I haven't really talked about Brian all that much because I don't think he would understand the connection we have. But I also can't say no because, hello, owner of the gallery showing my work…if he wants me to meet his nephew or whatever the fuck he is, so be it.

I'll just be very clear when I meet the guy (away from Stephan) that absolutely nothing will happen and we can just do whatever he wants (within reason). Hopefully he doesn't expect anything from tonight. Although if he knows Stephan well enough, and, if I remember correctly, he's around Brian's age, then he'll expect kind of a blind date thing and be prepared for the possibility that tonight won't be fun at all. I know I'm fun, but I can only imagine why he has to be set up, so I'm assuming he would be thinking the same thing. But it's not a blind date (I hate that phrase…shit, even Daph hates that phrase…and she's straight…then again, who wants to ever go on a blind date…do they ever work out?).

Anyway, I need to get ready now for this whatever with this guy I'm meeting. Hmmm…maybe he'll think similar to me (not uncommon for gay guys) and…it would be kind of awkward to ask for a blow job when you technically know the guy, not to mention that would be really fucking awkward if we ever met again. And since he knows the owner of the gallery my work is in, and probably will be again, there's a possibility that we'd run into each other. Not to mention we both live in New York, technically, at the moment. Wouldn't it be just my luck if he's really hot, sexy, smart, arrogant, and is more similar to Brian than me? Oh god! I can't think like that, let's hope he's decent looking enough that I'll attract more attention wherever we go and if we end up at a bar or club he'll be open to me finding a willing mouth somewhere. That sounds kind of heartless, huh? Well, I'd dwell on that, but then again, the guys willing to serve have no problems whatsoever with being the trick.

Whatever, I'll just play it by ear, and see how it goes. It's not like I'm gonna fall in love, right?


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**: I had this plot bunny running through my head when I was writing What Do You Want For Your Birthday? But I have to give a little shout out to EmeryFelton for the direction this bunny hopped. And my muse agreed.

**Chapter 2**

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><p><strong>Nicholas's POV<strong>

Uncle, Uncle, Uncle…how do I agree to these things? I'll tell you why, because for as old-fashioned and traditional as my Uncle may be, he's a hopeless romantic who wears his heart on his sleeve and would gladly give his left arm, and leg, to anyone who needs it. And he's unfortunately set me up on a date. Well, at least that's what he called it. I'm not going to call it that. He's setting up two gay men, two gay men who live in New York. I love my Uncle, but sometimes his old-fashioned ideas are, well, old. I can only hope that the guy I'm meeting doesn't haven't some deluded ideas about going on blind dates regularly in his hopes to meet THE ONE.

Although, based on what he tells me the guy I'm meeting has only been in New York for a couple years and is an artist, a very talented artist, to hear my Uncle go on about him. I have nothing against art, there are some paintings and sculptures that are fascinating. I can appreciate architecture, landscape, pictures and other forms of artistic expression, when expressed well. I don't think I could look at one abstract or another, by different artists and say where one is better than the other. And the only reason I am familiar with the terminology of abstract, impressionist, realist, surrealism, cubism, pointillism, mosaic, impasto, etc. is because as a contract attorney I've seen it all, I'd say as it's in reference to art, but I've seen it all outside of that purview as well.

You wouldn't believe the number of things people try to get away with, not only in a contract, but outside of the scope of most contracts and agreements. And I've worked with some well known artists, photographers, entertainers, corporations, individuals, talent agencies, you name it. I have been out of the country for a while, but traveling almost nonstop for about two years. I've made it home a couple of times, but not for very long. I travel all over the place for whoever needs me, and my clients pay me very well for wherever they need for however long negotiations may take. My time out of the country (on this last stint) was because one of my clients was out of the country filming a movie in parts of Europe while working on her contract for her next project (putting together her own production company) and wanted me there instead of waiting till she got back to the states. So, if you knew who she was you would know why I went, without question. Fortunately I wasn't needed here, and my firm can handle other clients while I'm gone, not to mention with technology nowadays who needs an office? Then there was the fact that I was allowed to stay at this person's villa in her guest house while I worked with her, and let me tell you, if you've never stayed in a villa overlooking the Mediterranean Sea, do it, however you can.

Anyway, it's not like I don't know this city, and I need someone to show me around, but my Uncle made it sound like that was needed to reintroduce me to my city. Personally I think he just wants to welcome me back the best way he knows how, and since he's not gay, he has no idea what to do. Hence the gay blind date, for want of a better term. Uncle Stephan thinks this guy has a wonderful personality, has a good soul, is very intelligent, exceedingly sweet and honest to a fault, oh and (after I asked him about his looks) he's just adorable. So, as a gay man, of thirty…umm…something (hey, gay man here, we don't reveal our true age), and I hear adorable, sweet and personality, what the fuck did I get myself into? If it weren't for my Uncle being the one to sing his praises I would have turned him down faster than a drag queen can name a Liza Minnelli show tune.

Stephan will meet me and this person at the gallery tonight and we will go from there. Thank goodness I had the presence of mind to ask him that. I know Stephan knows this man, and he would want us to meet on neutral ground (and if I know my Uncle he wants the praise when we meet each other and appreciate and approve of his choice), but regardless of what he knows about each of us, he wouldn't understand the possibility that we could hate each other or, god forbid, have been a trick to the other. No, he wouldn't understand that at all. And for some reason Stephan didn't want to give us names, and was more than happy to have us meet through him instead of the typical blind date of I'll-be-wearing-the-white-shirt, or some such nonsense.

Since it seems that he has been in New York the same time I have been out, it seems rather impossible for him to be a former trick, but like I said I've been back a couple of times, and I tricked once or twice while here. And while I don't expect anything to come of tonight, you never know. I'm not expecting to find the person I want to settle down with, I'm not ready to settle down at all, but I'm also not expecting to go home alone, depending on this man. I can only hope that my Uncle's lacking description and good judgment in people is enough to prove that he will be acceptable and we can either have a good time or at least enjoy each other's companies between the sheets. Okay, maybe my Uncle is rubbing off on me…maybe we can agree to be typical gay men, club, drink, dance and fuck and have a nice a life. But whatever happens, it will have to be amicable on the off chance we see each other again. I mean he has his work on display in my Uncle's gallery and I'm back in town so it's very likely we might run into each other.

It's never bothered me to run into tricks again, particularly since I rarely remember them, so even if I saw them again, I probably wouldn't know it… well except for this one trick, who was more than that, that one night, years ago, he was so beautiful, young, innocent, but the way he moved, begged, danced, fucked…god, I still remember that, him, them. I haven't been back there, thank god, I don't know if I'd ever want to. I hope they appreciate what they have, and I don't think about them often, but when I do, in a way I'm glad that that night worked the way it did, but there are times…no, NO, I'm not going there. It was a beautiful night, and a perfect fuck, I've still never had better, very close, but never better. Ah, well, back to the evening at hand.

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><p><em>Mericci Art Gallery<em>

Still can't believe I'm doing this, but here goes nothing. I walk into the gallery and have to look around for a while before finding my uncle. Finally I spot him near the back, along with the man I'm assuming I have a date *shudder* with…hmm…not bad, not bad at all. I usually don't go for blondes, but that ass, my god. I've seen and had a lot of men, but I can honestly say I don't think I've seen a finer ass. And of course it doesn't help he's wearing these tight black pants that hug every curve perfectly. And I do mean perfectly, they are perfect clubbing pants, but they also, incredibly, look almost like dress slacks, perfect for an art gallery. And the shiny blue silky shirt he has seems to be custom tailored for his frame. He's obviously not muscular, in a typical sense, but you can tell he works out because what muscles are there are defined enough in his legs and arms to stand out when he moves. The blond hair is quite a unique shade of blond, with light brown, brown, platinum, and almost reddish highlights. I wonder if he gets it colored, but it would seem very expensive and tedious to get that coloring done (not for some men I know, but certainly for an artist)…I'll have to think of some way of asking him where he gets his hair cut.

My uncle finally sees me and leans in to tell Blondie something before coming over.

"Ah, Nikki, my boy, so good to see you. How was your trip, you doing okay, have a good time, get everything taken care over there?"

No one calls me Nikki, or Nick, or any other nickname you could come up with, except my Uncle. He's the only one allowed to call me that, as long as I can remember that's been his nickname for me. He comes up to give me a big hug and kisses both cheeks, ah, Uncle, it's an interesting combination being Italian, an artist (in his own right) and a business/gallery owner.

"Thank you Uncle, I am doing great. My trip was excellent, even though it was busy, and everything is finally settled, hopefully I won't be needed for sometime somewhere else and can actually enjoy being home. As far as enjoying the trip, at least I got to stay somewhere beautiful, so even though I didn't have time for sightseeing or relaxing, I enjoyed what I could see when I had a moment to breathe."

"Good to hear Nikki, you worry me with how busy you can be, but I understand very well what you do. Well…I guess you're anxious to meet the young man who will be escorting you for this evening's festivities after being away so long?"

"You know Uncle, it's not like I haven't been in New York before, I do live here, I didn't need you to set me up with someone to show me my own town."

"I know, I know, dear boy, but, well, you know me, I know you two will get along swimmingly and I just couldn't pass the opportunity to introduce the best artist this gallery has seen in a long time to the best attorney in the state."

"Uncle, you flatter me…the best artist, huh? I'll admit that I may know something about art, but I'll still have to take your word for his talent. I just hope you don't expect too much to come of this little date?"

"Don't get me wrong, if you did decide to take it further, you have my best wishes, but even with as old-fashioned as I know I am, I know that's not how things work these days. Oh to be young again, I don't think I could do it in this decade, but you young people today… oh well, let me go get Mr. Taylor. I told him I wanted to see my favorite nephew before introducing you. Not to mention I believe he's gone looking at the art again. I swear that boy would eat, sleep, and breathe art if he could."

You see what a sweet talker he is, but not just a talker, he means it. No wonder I agree to whatever the man asks…Mr. Taylor, how formal sounding. Hmm…Taylor, Taylor, I am familiar with art and artists…but I'm drawing a blank here. He must be relatively new, of course being out of the country for a couple years can do that to a person. I see my Uncle come back with his arm through the arm of *gasp* …

"Justin"

I can see he's clearly shocked as well and just stops and stares. Fuck…he's just as beautiful, no, even more beautiful than back then. God, was that…7 years ago? Jesus. Bright fucking blue sapphire eyes, perfect pink lips that felt so good to kiss, and holy shit, those pants…fucking perfect, breathtaking, oh my fucking god. I can barely feel myself moving but I know we're getting closer.

"Nicholas?"

He sounds almost unsure, a little breathless, and god, to hear my name from those lips again. I think my Uncle is saying something, but I honestly can't hear him. I'm lost in the vision before me. I never, and I mean never, would have thought I would see Justin again. Wait, he was with…Brian…at the time, is he here? What does this mean? My Uncle wouldn't have set me up with someone already in a relationship (or whatever they had), nor would Justin agree, I would think. But certainly they, well, 7 years, maybe they aren't together. He is in New York, from what my Uncle told me he's been here a couple of years (give or take). Maybe Justin really is single…fuck, I knew I was nervous about this evening, but this one night, just tonight could turn into something huge, and beyond tonight?

"Justin."

I want to say something classy like 'Justin Taylor the famous artiste' because now that I've put the names together I know I've heard of him and have seen some of his work, but I hadn't seen his face. God knows had I seen his face I would have known immediately who it was. And honestly the name didn't occur to me to be the same Justin. I certainly didn't forget his name, but there was absolutely nothing to connect that Justin to this successful New York artist Justin.

"So you're thee Justin Taylor I've heard about…I never…I mean I didn't…"

Crap, I'm as nervous as a fucking teenager talking to his first crush. Then again, we didn't exactly have a typical first, last, meeting did we? I reach out of shake his hand…I would love to pull him into a hug, but I don't think I could handle the reaction I would most likely get from that action. I mean just touching his hand is enough to feel the sparks similar to that night.

"Nicholas, it's okay…imagine my surprise also, I mean…yeah…*(he turns to face Stephan while still holding my outstretched hand, slightly flushed and still smiling)* Stephan, this may sound incredible, but we have already met, years ago. *blush* I won't, um, bore you with the details, and I don't mean to be rude, but I believe we'll be on our way to reminisce *ahem* and enjoy our evening."

"Nonsense, Justin, I must say I'm very surprised that you have met before, but I'm also very pleased. I can't tell you what it means that someone who knows my Nikki will be the one to welcome him home and show him around. Oh don't look at me like that Nikki, I know you think you know this city, but after everything you've done you deserve to have someone show you a good time rather than try to have one on your own."

"Uncle *blush* I think we can take this from here, it seems that you have satisfied yourself and I certainly don't need any more accolades or advice."

"Very well, you boys enjoy yourself and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. I hope you have a grand time on the town tonight. Just promise me one thing boys, if you have a bit to drink, make sure you stay safe. Oh, and be home at a decent hour, goodness knows you young people still need sleep, and you've both been so busy I'd hate for you two to get sick or anything."

He leans over to give me a hug, and I realize that I have to let go of Justin's hand to do that. I didn't even realize his hand was still in mine. It felt so…good…warm…soft. I didn't really want to let go either, but I certainly can't tell that to Uncle. Interesting because it seems he hadn't minded our hand holding either. I know he wouldn't understand our connection, at all. He then leans over to hug Justin. I don't know what he's whispering in his ear, but I see him blush, again, and smile. Fuck! He's so fucking beautiful. I know that beautiful isn't a common word to use among, from, or with men (gay or not), but there is no other word to describe Justin. He is beautiful, from his perfect soft light skin to his gorgeous deep blue eyes to his silky soft, warm raspberry lips to his hands that feel so good, no matter where they touch you and as I quickly scan his front from hair to toes…beautiful.

And could his or my pants get any tighter, shit! Those pants frame his cock absolutely fucking perfectly…as if I needed a reminder of how perfect his cock actually felt. Fuck! If I didn't already know him I would have him in the bathroom with my cock buried deep in his ass by now, shit! I didn't need that image. (Course maybe that reaction is partly from knowing him since I usually don't do that anyway.) Now I'm fucking hornier than I was when I first saw him…ok, deep breath, calm down…no fucking him…yet *smile* I have control, honest I do, when I choose to use it, and right now I have to use every fucking ounce of control to keep myself from grabbing his hand, dragging him back home, ripping his clothes off…fuck! Didn't need that image either…how the fuck am I supposed to get through tonight? Okay, one step at a time. He's finished talking to my Uncle and again turns to face me and smiles, a shy little smile that…okay, still horny, but that smile I felt somewhere else…a bit higher, but, if I remember correctly (and I remember pretty fucking vividly), something I kind of felt last time we were together. Even if he was just a trick, or rather I was the trick, that night didn't feel like anyone was a trick.

"Shall we, Nicholas?"

God I love how he says my name…oh how fucking lesbianic is that. I AM NOT swooning. Okay, maybe a little, since it's just me admitting this to myself.

"Of course, Justin, I'm all yours."

Fuck, I did not just say that. That not only sounded ridiculously cheesy, but also very flirty, well I hope it sounded flirty, and not nervous. It must have sounded okay, though, because he smiles and blushes a little before glancing down to take my hand in his. He looks back at me and smiles a bit wider as we start to walk out of the gallery and to a night on the town, wow…the way his eyes and hair light up under all the lights. And that shirt is stunning on him, even more so now that we're outside in the lights of the evening that is New York City. Because you don't have to be near Time Square or Broadway to experience all the lights (and traffic, unfortunately). He stops outside right after hailing a cab.

"I'd say this is awkward, but I don't think even that covers this. I'm not sure what to say or do, but I will say that we should just play this by ear and have fun tonight with someone *blush* we know."

"I'd like that Justin. Whatever you planned, you lead, I'll follow. To be honest I have many questions at the moment and I'm not sure you want to answer them or have questions of your own, but I hope this evening starts with dinner."

"I do have questions, and I'll answer yours, and we're definitely starting with dinner, and I'm really glad I picked the place I did. It's a quiet little restaurant in the East Village close to my apartment; to be honest I chose it because I know the owner and I figured if tonight was a *ahem* worthless blind date, no offense, that he would be happy to help a friend in need. I'm really glad that this worked out the way it did so we can enjoy the, um, quiet atmosphere."

"No offence taken since I was kind of thinking the same thing. I was wondering how to tell my Uncle thanks, but no thanks, which wasn't something I was looking forward to doing. I am familiar with the East Village, even though my home isn't near that area. And I am looking forward to tonight, especially now that it's you."

Christ! I feel as giddy as a school girl, and I've never been a school girl or giddy. He has the most perfect fucking smile…sorry to sound like a broken record here but he's so fucking beautiful!

"I'm looking forward to tonight as well… well now I am…"

At that point the cab pulls up and we get in. Justin tells the driver the address and continues with his enthusiastic explanation.

"You might be surprised at the restaurant, it's only been there about a year and from looking outside you wouldn't think it was quiet or serene. It surprised me when I found it, and I must admit, it was completely by accident. I mean I saw the construction and signs knowing it would become a restaurant, but it didn't look much different than other places in the area. In fact the owner is gay and decided that if he was going for a restaurant in the East Village then he wanted to fake people out. It's funny; his restaurant kind of matches him, in a way. You wouldn't know he was gay from looking at him, and the restaurant looks flaming and fabulous outside. Then you get to know him and it's completely obvious, not to mention you sit to eat in his restaurant and you think you're in a fancy high-priced steakhouse kind of place."

He's so passionate and animated when he talks. I'm nervous as hell and wondering what happened to Brian, who was so possessive of Justin, and wondering what he's doing in New York, how he became an artist, how does like being here. I'd love to see some of his work, you know, up close and personal (aside from what I've seen in pictures from art magazines or in someone's office) – and of course I'd love to see the artist more up close and personal, but that might have to wait, maybe not happen, depending on where this evening takes us. Is it to personal to ask to see his work later? I guess in a normal situation, given not knowing him, I might ask, but this would seem more than polite conversation where I to ask.

He quiets down a bit after finishing his explanation of the restaurant while we ride in the cab. We're still holding hands, but I'm not sure if he realizes, it almost seems second nature. Although I'm also not thinking about it, because that will lead to other thoughts where touching is involved and I'd like to enjoy dinner and being with Justin without having to hide a hard-on all night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Author's Note: **I apologize in advance for all the food descriptions, but as a chef I couldn't help myself. I could totally see Justin waxing poetic about food; he loved to cook in the show and typically only people who love food would be happy to work in a diner. I've rewritten this entire chapter, and actually cut down some of the food/restaurant descriptions. At the time I originally wrote this I had no idea where I was going, and now that I've re-read it, I think I know where I want it to go, finally right? I hope you enjoy the changes.

* * *

><p><strong>Justin's POV<strong>

Stephan was talking to me about how soon his nephew would get there and my upcoming show and previous shows, along with some of the pieces still in his gallery and what the inspiration for them was. He's an incredible man, and I love spending time with him, while he claims to be talentless as far as sketching and painting, he definitely has an artistic eye and exceedingly knowledgeable about all things in the art world.

He let me stay where I was so he could visit with his nephew previously before introducing us, me, to…Nicholas. Jesus fucking Christ! Never saw that coming. I mean the thought that the guy I was meeting would not only be a previous trick, but the one trick that was a whole of a lot more than a trick. I mean, I'm with Brian, so there's no chance in anything changing that, nor will I leave Brian again, ever!

However, I remember that night almost like it was yesterday. Everyone says you never forget your first and I'll be damned if they weren't right. I remember the feeling of kissing him, dancing with him, pushing in, the hand jobs, rubbing and touching. I know I have a lot more memories with Brian than I do with anyone else, and my fantasies always are of Brian, but I also remember my feelings that night. If it hadn't been for already knowing Brian, had I been there that night alone I would have definitely picked Nicholas.

I have no fucking clue as to what to expect this evening. I mean obviously we've already fucked so if that no repeats rule exists anywhere we can't do anything. But how could I possibly not do something. He's fucking hot, attractive, sexy, smart, and if the fact that he keeps looking at me like he either wants to devour me or rip my clothes off is any indication of how he feels, then I think it's safe to say this evening will be ending with us…I don't really want to invite him back to my place, maybe he'll invite me to his. I think that would be for the best. I wonder if he'll let me top him again. I know now that I am absolutely a top, and I only have ever bottomed for Brian (well, with the exception of that one time in Hollywood…okay, fine, more than one time with Connor James, but come on, who wouldn't want to say that you got fucked by Connor James?). But with Nicholas, I know he's a top, too, just like Brian. And yes Brian bottoms for me (more than he might want to admit, few people would know this, but he loves being fucked as much as I do, he just can't ask, which is why I have to be so good at reading him and guessing when he wants to be fucked), but I'm not sure how this will work with Nicholas.

There's this sexual tension between us, obviously, but somehow I think I'm not feeling it as much as he is. Then again, I have Brian, true, not here, now, at the moment, but I know Brian's mine as much as I am his. And even if we fucked other people our hearts still belong to each other, and no one else, ever. I wonder if Nicholas has anyone, I mean one would assume not at the moment because Stephan did set us up tonight, but I wonder if he's had anyone. From what Stephan told me he travels on business a lot, is very dedicated, always gets what he wants, no matter how hard he has to fight for it, and loves winning and being the best. Hmm…sounds familiar, no wonder why I was drawn to him, he's a slightly shorter Brian Kinney with green eyes, bright, beautiful green eyes.

I'm really glad I picked the restaurant I did. It's really a cool place, so different from what you would expect. Each table is a booth with high enough backs to feel like you have privacy and it's kind of dark and mysterious and serves amazing food. During lunch he, the owner (James), brightens the whole place up and uses disposable cutlery and napkins and it almost has a Liberty Diner/coffee shop feel to it. But come night time, all the lights dim, the silverware and linen come out, all the tables have thick black and white tablecloths on them (not checkered, but layered solid colors for more of a nouveau chic feel) and he uses white and black napkins (white if you have light colored clothes and black if you have dark clothes). He places a really beautiful candle on each table, well the candle is simple, but the candle holders are designed and hand blown by a local glass blower/artist using many different colors before forming them into holders.

The first time I came in for lunch I thought, cool, another Liberty Diner, without Debbie…so quieter and less colorful. Food was great, simple, affordable and the service was great, too. Since it's only been open about a year and I've been coming since it opened, James and I started talking regularly whenever I come in. He knew I was gay the moment he met me, but I wasn't sure about him. As crazy as this may sound he's a cross between Ted and Emmett. He looks like he's an accountant, dresses like that, too, but more formal and businessy, like Brian. But his knowledge and talent for food and cooking and baking is definitely along the lines of Emmett.

In fact he was originally in the finance world, he was investment banker, made a killing, but the stress was killing him. Had a couple of really bad ulcers, high blood pressure, smoked all the time, high cholesterol, and his weight was getting out of control. He had always had a love of cooking and baking, and unfortunately being overweight was probably genetic. He decided that he'd had enough of being unhealthy, stressed out, digging an early grave and having no social life whatsoever, but he made a fortune. So he took a year and spent it touring Europe, completely on foot and bike learning as many recipes and local dishes as he could. He also quit smoking, started eating healthy and completely turned his life around. He never shares how much he lost, but he has a build similar to Brian, with a little more fat, so very healthy (I still say Brian is too skinny at times).

I have always loved food, I love cooking, and I think if I were to have a restaurant (which I don't want) it would be very similar to James place. No that's not the name. It's Alex's Place, I know it's simple, but it really fits, especially once you know the story behind it. He named it after his mother (well, their mother, since his brother and sister opened it with him), Alexandra, who died when they were in high school. She had a rare blood disease that couldn't be cured, but she loved cooking and had she had more energy and time she always wanted to have her own restaurant. Since it's in an LGBT neighborhood they wanted to keep the name appealing to all sexualities.

Anyway, I've been filling Nicholas in on these details about the restaurant as they come to mind. And speaking of eating and Nicholas (clearly if I was Brian I would make some crude sex joke, but I won't…oh it came to mind, I just don't feel the need to share it), we're here. I'm still nervous and I have no idea how this will play out, but I'm really glad I'm going to a place I know. Tonight's meal and conversation should be interesting, to say the least. I mean I shouldn't be so nervous, but I am. Which is probably why I'm talking about the restaurant so much. It's a nice safe topic. And I always talk a lot when I'm nervous, something that Brian is all too familiar with. And food always comes to mind as a safe subject.

Nicholas (god, I still can't believe he's my…date? Partner?... ugh…friend, that'll work) is quietly listening to me ramble incessantly. If it was Brian he'd probably pull me into his lap and keep my mouth busy with his mouth. Of course I don't really think I'd be comfortable with Nicholas doing that. Not to mention I wouldn't be nervous around Brian anyways. Well, however nervous I feel, it's gotta be nothing compared to how nervous Nicholas appears to be. Maybe my talking is calming him down and keeping both our minds busy and off of that evening that we've already shared.

The hostess has showed us to our table and taken our drink order. Okay… now for conversation. Where to begin?

"So…what do you recommend? Since you've been here many times before."

*chuckle*

"Sorry about all that…I've always had a problem of talking about one thing too much. Especially something I enjoy, like this place, and of course, when food is involved. Well, there are really no bad choices, and it depends on what you're in the mood for."

I can't believe I just said that. He grins and chuckles.

"I have a few favorites, although James usually has some specials each weekend and those are always a great choice."

"Justin…good to see you. How are we doing this evening?"

"Very good James. I'd like you to meet Nicholas, he just got back into town and I have the honor of entertaining him this evening."

James smirks, a little hidden smirk that I can recognize, and hopefully Nicholas doesn't. Although based on the slight blush on Nicholas, he doesn't need to see any smirk. James also knows about this date-thing I'm on and has probably just figured out that I'm okay with the person and that (even though I might at some point feel like being rescued) I really don't need to be saved.

"Always a pleasure to meet a friend of Justin's. He's been coming in regularly since I opened the place. Knowing him he's already given you all the history, so how about I skip to the specials this evening?"

He can probably tell from my obvious blush that I have done just that. And if I recognize that look he has correctly identified that we have some sort of history although I doubt he would guess accurately.

"Of course James."

"Absolutely, from everything Justin has told me, I'm in for a real treat."

"Indeed you are gentlemen. All the specials we offer are based on what was available in the local farmer's market. I found a really great swordfish and halibut, along with a beautifully marbled rib-eye. For the seafood, you can order it sautéed in a white wine sauce, baked with a beure blanc sauce or grilled with a lemon garlic rub. Each of these entrees come with two sides which include roasted garlic mashed potatoes, fresh steamed vegetables with a parmesan aioli, our house special three cheese baked macaroni and cheese, broccoli au gratin, baked potato, creamed spinach or portabella risotto. And of course each comes with your choice of soup or salad. Our soups for the day are New England clam chowder or lobster bisque. For our salads you can choose our regular dinner salad, an iceberg wedge salad with crumbled blue cheese and bacon or a traditional Caesar salad served table side."

"My goodness James, that's quite a list, and a bit more ambitious than usual."

"Wow, I'm impressed. Even with seeing the menu I wasn't quite prepared for those exquisite choices."

"I must say that while I was in the farmer's market I honestly couldn't make up my mind and I figured it seemed the perfect evening to start a few new things. We've been here long enough and we're doing so well…a lot of restaurant goers like standards and reliability, but I do like throwing something new in the mix. It keeps part of the clientele coming back for more I think. But the most interesting thing on the menu, or should I say, off the menu, tonight is dessert."

"Oooo… the best part of any meal. What's the specialty this evening James?"

"Something very different that's not only not on the menu, but something that I haven't served yet to anyone. And don't look at me like that Justin, I'm not going to tell you, but…and I hope you appreciate this, but I honestly wanted your opinion, so I'll serve it – on the house – after your dinner has been served."

"James you don't have to do that, although far be it from me to try and convince you otherwise. But you have to tell me what it is… I'm dying to know."

"Oh no, you're just going to have wait… *turns head toward Nicholas* you know you wouldn't know from looking at him, but he could eat his weight in anything, including dessert, and not gain a pound. Every gay mans wish, right?"

"Too true James… but it is obvious to me that Justin works out anyway, even if he doesn't need it at all. I don't have much of a problem with weight, but I've never tested that theory by eating a lot either."

"Good for you Nicholas, take it from someone with experience, it is not fun struggling with weight, especially when you love food and you're a gay man."

"Oh, I believe you…well Justin, I definitely know what I want… for dinner, how about you?"

I know I'm blushing but I can't really help it. I didn't expect James to accept Nicholas that openly. Although maybe he could see I was anxious. And the fact that I know what Nicholas was just referring to isn't helping control that blush, at all.

"Yes I'm ready…even though I still want to know what dessert you're cooking up."

"You'll find out soon enough… but no rushing through dinner just for dessert. I know you'll have room for all of it. Just sit back and relax and leave the serving to me."

Nicholas orders the rib eye, medium rare, with spinach and the macaroni and cheese. I order the swordfish in the beure blanc sauce with the broccoli au gratin and steamed vegetables. Call me crazy, but I really love vegetables, especially when cheese is involved.

James spends most evenings between the kitchen and some serving and checking on all the customers. Although he prefers to think of everyone as his guests. Well, I guess the only way to get through tonight is to just jump right in… he clearly knows what I do, but I have no idea what Nicholas does, so that's a good place as any to start.

"So Nicholas, Stephan said that you have been out of the country for a while… what do you do?"

"I'm an attorney that specializes in contract law. I own my own firm, with several attorneys, paralegals, assistants and clerks that are on staff all the time. Myself and a couple other attorneys who handle our largest clients travel when necessary. The contracts we deal with are for actors, artists, production companies, architects, musicians, and, well the list goes on. You know it's funny I've seen your name before but didn't put two and two together. I'd never seen your picture, but since some of our clients are in the art world, as artists, gallery owners and collectors I had seen your name."

"Wow, if you don't mind my asking, if I can ask, who were your clients that knew about me?"

"Well, a couple of them had heard of you and had seen your work and were impressed. As for the clients, I can't reveal their names as they want their privacy protected. But I can tell you they are very well known in the art world, and since your work is being displayed at my Uncle's gallery I am positive that you know them, even if you might not have met them."

"I would love to know, but I understand. If they're as big as they sound I can understand wanting that much privacy. Although I am curious as to how your work would lead outside the country, for that long of a time."

"Our clients are that big, and there's a reason I'm paid the big bucks, I go where the client needs me. If that means that they happen to be in Italy, that's where I go. Whether they're on set, in a temporary studio, in a summer home, or, like my most recent trip, in Greece helping one client to set up her own production company."

"Wow, I am impressed. A couple years ago I wouldn't have thought that being an artist or entertainer would have so much legal and financial work attached to it, but with everything my own agent and lawyer go through to protect my work, as just a painter, I can only imagine what might be involved in larger media forms."

"Not just a painter I hear, if I remember correctly from reading about one of your shows, but sketches as well, and if I remember correctly a book or comic of some sorts was involved?"

"Comic book, or graphic novel, if you will; I do sketch occasionally, but it's harder than it used to be. The comic book I work on with a friend, or rather, the friend of a friend. We both came up with the character, although it was over drinks and E so I was surprised when he wanted to do more with it. He comes up with the stories and I do the drawings. It almost became a movie once, full blown Hollywood production with a budget in the millions, but the financial backers were too concerned with normal, closed-minded, conservative families who couldn't handle two gay characters with an active sex life. And there was no way we wanted to tone down the characters, because that wouldn't be true to what our vision was. Being a gay man isn't easy, it can be dark, sad, difficult and lonely. Like I told the producers at the time a lot of shit that gay people go through at one time is grim, and just because our main character has no apologies about who he is and no regrets about his life, doesn't make him arrogant, it makes him honest and brave. I also mentioned something about… what did he call it? … The ass business and I believe I said that it was a right and privilege of every gay man that he should try sometime."

"Wow, now that's impressive…I don't think I've known many people to stand up to Hollywood producers. I'd say you won, but if it got canceled, then obviously you didn't win. So what is that name of this comic book? I'm not familiar with comics, but now that I know you're the artist, I sure wouldn't mind looking it up."

"It's called Rage…and…um, if you want, I can give you a copy, although I'd have to contact my business partner in order to have them mailed to me. I didn't bring mine with me when I moved to New York. We always kept a few for us of each issue, just because."

"That's understandable, and logical. Very safe in any business where a person's talents are a commodity. About you moving to New York…obviously that's not where you're from…and did you move for your art? I couldn't imagine the Pittsburgh art scene being too large."

"I did move for my art. I went to the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts for a few years before going to LA to work on the movie for several months. When I moved back here I decided not to go back to school. It almost seemed going backwards. At least that's what I thought at the time. I had one show in the Pitts shortly before moving, that was one of the reasons I decided to move. I wanted to prove to myself…and others…that I could be an artist, not a starving artist, and be successful at it. I could make it on my own, and when I'm at a point I'm comfortable with I can go back and show everyone that I am a successful artist that can not only make it anywhere, but that I can make it _from_ anywhere. As for school, I'm attending the Marymount Manhattan College. In fact at the end of this semester I'll be graduating with my Bachelor's Degree in Studio Art with a minor in Graphic Design. If I decide to stay in New York longer I want to go to the Tisch School of the Arts for a Master's Degree in Arts and Politics. I think that will really help in any business setting. I mean I love painting and having gallery showings and all, but I don't think I see myself painting forever. Not to mention there are times when I'm either lacking of inspiration or just need a break from painting."

"I think it's admirable that you're going back to school. And in this day and age and this economy, having a back-up is certainly a secure way to go. So you're planning on going back? You don't want to stay in New York?"

"Well, I've thought about it long and hard, and like I said, I would like to get my Master's, but I would have to be here. There are times I definitely get lonely…I mean I left everyone to come here. And while I am very pleased that I've been able to accomplish so much, I am ready to go back. I miss…everyone, family, friends…"

Brian, god I miss Brian. At this moment I almost wish he were here, to give me some direction, some advice, should I stay, should I come home, should I… do something more with Nicholas… what if I stay? What will happen between us then? I'd have to tell Brian… would he understand? Should I invite him here to meet, well re-meet Nicholas? That would be awkward, or hot, probably both.

"Justin…what's wrong? Is there… someone special that you miss?"

Oh great, not only does he feel like I'm shutting him out, now he thinks I'm not interested. Well regardless of how confused I am…oh, what the fuck...

"Sorry for that, sometimes my mind can't help but wonder, especially thinking about the Pitts. I must say that earlier today I was seriously considering going back to the Pitts and worrying about graduate school later. Yes there is someone, but it's hard to define, and confusing as hell. He would say it's a non-traditional, non-conventional sort of thing we have. It's not exactly easy to have a long-distance relationship, even though he would never call it that. I also know that if I had the opportunity to continue to grow as an artist and go to Tisch he would absolutely encourage it. Of course he wouldn't admit that he would hate for me to be gone longer, at least I'm pretty sure he wouldn't admit that. There are times the man makes no sense, but not for lack of reason."

"I know that if you had a chance to go to Tisch you absolutely should. And as confusing as that sounds, I'm assuming I know the person you're speaking about? The same person I've met before?"

Fuck.

"Yes…" Deep breath, as weird as this feels you've oddly all met before. I wonder if Brian and Nicholas did or said anything after he left. I never asked, it never crossed my mind, until now. The way Nicholas asks about him…

"It's Brian. He…I…shit… One of the things I loved when I moved here is that I was free from too many deep decisions. My art, my apartment, my job, my studio, my education… it was all my choice. Even though it was our choice that I actually come here…and it's still our choice that I stay. I know how he thinks, how he feels, what he says and why. A lot of time has passed since that night, and a lot of shit we've both gone through. Things that have happened that we had no control over, and things that we absolutely had control over but couldn't figure out. It would be one thing to stay here if we had a normal relationship, but given everything we have been through, it's that much more difficult to stay here for any longer than I feel I absolutely have to. And there are times when it feels way too long, and times it doesn't feel long enough."

"I don't know what a normal relationship is, I mean who's to say what's normal? You seemed very close at the time, although I did know Brian's reputation, so I don't know how close you actually were. Time can change a lot, but were you still together when you moved here?"

"Technically, yes."

"Okay, are you still together now?"

"After a fashion, yes."

"I can see why you said it was confusing…Let me ask you this, if you were to move back, I'm assuming he's waiting for you?"

"I suppose."

"Okay…um, how about this one… would he want you to come back if he knew you wanted to go for your master's degree here?"

"No…he definitely wants me to be everything I can be while I'm here, but I also thinks he wants me back, but I know a part of him probably thinks I'll never be back. I know he wants me to be successful however I decide that, but I also know his ideas of success are very different me my ideas of success."

"Would he mind if you wanted a relationship with someone else?"

"That's difficult to answer. Simple answer is no, however, knowing him like I do, it's undoubtedly a yes, he would mind, but he would say it's my choice. But Nicholas, you have to understand…"

Nicholas holds his hand up to stop me from finishing.

"I'm not saying I want a relationship, Justin. Only because I truly have a very hectic and chaotic career. I mean I was out of the country for two years. I am home, for now, but who knows for how long. So if you stayed, while I was here, I'd like to see you, however you want. If you go back, that's your choice, but it sounds to me like you need to prove this final decision to yourself. And from what I've heard and from what little I know about Brian…he would want you to stay to complete whatever level of education you wanted to succeed as best as you can."

"That's certainly a fair and accurate assessment. But like I said, Brian and I have such a unique, confusing, at times wonderful and at times horrible past that it's very hard for me to make decisions about him sometimes. You are right, he would absolutely hate the thought of me giving up, and that's exactly what he would think if there was a chance to further my education and I didn't take it. I know he's proud of me and I know he…loves me… but there are times when I'm not sure he knows I love him or how much or the fact that I am very proud of him. He's an amazing man, in fact I wouldn't have agreed to marry him if I didn't think all that I do about him."

"You're married?"

"No, sorry, I forgot I hadn't mentioned that… see… long, drawn out history. We've broken up and gotten back together several times, through a lot of hurt, heart ache, tears and anger, well, in my case… massive amounts of tricks, booze and drugs in his place. It took him 5 years for him to tell me he loved me. He proposed the next day, at the time I said no, mainly because I thought he was just saying it because he was scared of losing me. You see it was right after Babylon was bombed."

"I read about that…it sounded awful. I think I vaguely recognized Brian's name as the owner, but there was no mention of anyone else, just the numbers and facts of injuries and… deaths. Wait… you were there? Are you okay? I mean, obviously you are, but any serious injuries to overcome?"

"Yes I was there, yes Brian owned it, still owns it…serious injuries? Not from that night, but that's a story for some other time, trust me. We have close friends who knew one woman who died. And the man I work on Rage with was seriously injured, almost died. Fortunately he recovered, but it took a while."

"Wow, I'd say I'm sorry, but that always seems a cheap and useless expression where loss and grief are concerned. And I hope I'll get to hear that story someday… I mean I don't want to hear about you being injured, but…"

"It's okay, Nicholas, I know what you mean, it's just not something I really like talking about, but I will, some other time, hopefully. But back to what I was saying. I thought Brian was just scared of losing me so he changed fast and the man who didn't believe in love, but believed in fucking was suddenly becoming monogamous, wanted to get married, declared his love and actually bought me a house, no, not a house, a fucking estate. It was huge, with everything I could ever possibly want. And while I agreed to marry him once he showed me the house and proved that he meant it… after that one article came out in the Art Forum about New York waiting for me to conquer it. Well, he felt that I owed it to myself as an artist to come conquer it. He felt that I would always regret not doing that if I stayed with him. But I know Brian and I also know that he doesn't really expect me back. He thinks I'll find someone that treats me the way he thinks I deserve to be treated and never go home because…who would ever go back to the Pitts after being in fucking New York."

"Well, if I had you, I wouldn't want to let you go…sorry, that may be unfair, since regardless of how we met, how little we may know each other…I can tell you something about Brian, something you might not know."

"Um, no offense, but what could you possibly know about Brian that I don't?"

"No offense taken, I'm assuming that Brian is the kind that doesn't do emotions or share those emotions."

"That's an understatement."

"And if he ever did, he would expect the person he's talking to to keep those opinions to themselves and never share."

"Also very true."

"Well, then it might surprise you to know that he spoke to me that night, the night we all shared. Something I doubt he ever expected I would be in a position to tell you, much less any of us in a position for you to know what he said."

"He said something… about me? … That was, Jesus, that was before I knew he felt much of anything for me. Do I really want to know?"

"I think it might help. Whatever happens between us, whatever you decide to do with your immediate future, maybe if you know how long he's felt about you the way he undoubtedly feels about you truthfully might help."

"Okay…what did he say?"

"I'll never forget that night, by the way. I've had, well, a lot of partners, well, tricks before and since then."

"No need to be ashamed Nicholas, we're gay men, Brian aside, I've had my fair share of tricks before, during, and now. I won't say after, because I can't. At one time there was an after, but that only lasted for a few months and I was holding on to fake delusions of grandeur and romantic ideologies that just don't exist. But no need to get into those painful and idiotic six months of my life."

"Okay, that sounds like a fascinating story, but… anyway, you, Justin, and Brian, of course, were the best tricks *shakes head* lovers *nods* I've ever had. I haven't…bottomed… since… I couldn't. Don't worry, I'm not saying that for any other reason than just a compliment. That night I think Brian could tell by the look in my face that I was far too comfortable next to you. It was really hard to leave. It's partly what Brian did say, and partly what he didn't have to say. I told him that if I had lived in the Pitts he would have had some competition on his hands, for you. He was very relieved that I wasn't from there and I was leaving. He didn't say as much, but I could tell that he thought you deserved better than him and he felt that I was a threat. He also would have been devastated if you had chosen me over him. He knew what he felt for you then, even if he never admitted it, and he was definitely unwilling to change, but couldn't say no to you, nor did he ever want to."

"I…god…I mean I always knew Brian cared about me, I mean he must have felt something to keep allowing me back in… but to know that he felt that deeply, even before…something happened a few months after that… I guess I better talk about it now… I don't want to go into all the details, please let me keep this as simple as I can. I went to my senior prom, I asked Brian and he said no. He showed up anyway and we danced beautifully together. When we were leaving together one of the jocks that had always given me problems that year bashed me with a baseball bat."

At this Nicholas blanched, he hadn't heard that at all. The thing with Babylon was assumed to be connected with a statewide proposition, a local high school bashing was insignificant. At least much less newsworthy, but god, had he known.

"Brian called 911…he called my name right before the bat hit. If I hadn't turned, I would have died that night. If Brian hadn't been there to stop Hobbs from hitting me again, I would have died that night."

Whether consciously or not, Nicholas reached over to hold Justin's hand, to prove that this amazing young man was still sitting before him.

Justin squeezed back, thanking Nicholas for that little support. It was never easy to talk about, but telling someone you cared about, on who knows how many levels that Justin didn't want to think about right now.

"He was a wreck for months after that. I was in a coma for weeks. I don't remember anything from that night except the bat. I've since had a flash of getting ready at home before going, but I've never remembered Brian or I being there. I didn't see Brian again until after I was out of the hospital. I couldn't even use my hand without tons of physical therapy. When I finally could get my hand under control it still took me a long time to be able to draw normally again. That's one of the reasons I switched to painting. I still get aches in the hand and if I use it too long it still cramps up. I get headaches occasionally, migraines, I probably always will. I had nightmares for months after I got out of the hospital. I didn't want anyone to touch me, except Brian. He did more for me to recover than any physical therapist or emotional therapist ever did."

Nicholas would like nothing more than to hold Justin, comfort him, convince himself Justin was alright. But he didn't want Justin to get the wrong idea either. Not that Nicholas expected anything from tonight, nor would he be opposed, but he also could tell how strong a person Justin was, and wouldn't need the comfort.

"He blamed himself for the longest time, still does probably. Thinks that if he didn't show up it wouldn't have happened. Which is so not true, I mean who brings a baseball bat to prom? I'm sure Brian wouldn't share this sentiment, but I'm glad Hobbs attacked me not Brian. After all that I lost my ability to read Brian, to understand him, to know what he wanted, needed and thought without saying a thing. It lead to me leaving him because he couldn't give me what I thought I wanted. Again, those were a miserable six months. When I finally realized what I had lost, what I gave up, I felt it was too late. When he accepted me back within a couple of days of being an intern where he worked I knew what I fool I had been."

"So you were apart for six months and just decided to be an intern where he worked? I can tell you were strong, but that takes balls."

Justin couldn't help laugh at this, laughing even harder at Nicholas's confused expression.

"Sorry for that, it felt good to laugh after all the seriousness. That's exactly what Brian told me when I interned for him. Well, I interned for his company. A perk at studying at an art college, you can apply to be an intern pretty much anywhere. They don't have to pay anything, and you just have to prove you helped. I mean he was an advertising executive and I loved the office, the setting, the ideas and artistic talent behind the marketing."

"And you just happened to chose Brian's company." Nicholas said with a knowing smirk so damn similar to the person they were talking about Justin almost kissed him. Not that Justin wasn't opposed to something happening, but not here, and not now, but it definitely helped feel better about his own thoughts about Brian.

"It was my best friend actually who suggested it. Believe it or not, it hadn't even crossed my mind. I realized I had made the biggest mistake of my life, and she suggested I follow him where I knew he would be, therefore, Vanguard."

"Vanguard, you interned at Vanguard? Wow, I could tell briefly from what I saw that you were a talented artist, well, based on what I know of art, but I know of Vanguard, that's impressive. Although they haven't been doing well lately."

"You know of Vanguard?"

"Attorney here, I know many agencies as related to many different industries. I have a colleague from a smaller firm that works in Vanguard's legal department."

"Well I can't say that I'm all that impressed with Vanguard. It was great at the time, but mainly because of Brian."

"The man that started this conversation."

"Oh believe me, I haven't forgotten. Although if you want some sordid and intriguing tales about advertising and corrupt politicians, I have a story for you."

"I didn't know there were honest politicians."

They both shared a laugh at this.

"Too true, but back to what I started with. There was a presentation I helped with and was so nervous to be in the room with Brian and an important client, which I just learned had an advertising budget in the millions."

Nicholas knew the price of advertising, that sum didn't surprise him. Clearly Justin didn't know, at the time, that advertising funds the world.

"I made a comment about one of the boards that the representative from the company liked. Unfortunately Brian felt I was upstaging him and fired me later. Not only could he not do that as I was an intern, but the reasoning was ridiculous. However after arguing more about the reason behind our time apart than about the actual campaign he told me to stand up for myself and have some balls."

Justin paused at that, remembering that kiss, and that night when he went back. He didn't blush, he didn't need to, he was proud of how he acted that night, and he was just so damned happy to be accepted willingly back into Brian's arms and his life.

"It was the first time we had been alone in a room together, that close, for months, and I couldn't help it, but grab him, figuratively, by the balls, and kiss him. … God, that kiss, and later after coming back to his office."

Nicholas was still convinced to use the term beautiful in regards to Justin. He was practically glowing in recounting his tale of getting Brian back. They definitely had one hell of a rocky relationship, and he could tell that Justin would always go back to Brian. No matter what happened between them tonight, if anything, Justin and Brian would always be together. Justin clearly hadn't known what Brian had told him, not that that surprised him, but from what little he knew of Brian and their relationship, Brian would always take Justin back. He would be a fool not to, and he was pretty sure Brian Kinney was no fool.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: **An update, Yeah! I was inspired… finally! I've tried reading this, but inspiration has never hit. Finally I was re-reading this (actually I was reading "What do you want for your birthday?" just because) and I finally figured it out. I don't know when I'll update, but if you follow it I would be grateful, and then it would a surprise when I do update. I don't know about you, but I always get a little thrill when a story I haven't read in months gets updated. No specific POV, but I'll let you know if that changes.

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p>Justin and Nicholas discussed other topics, but much less serious topics, from tricks to traveling, from family to work. They found many things they had in common, and many things they didn't. They also didn't realize just how long they'd been talking and laughing and visiting until James brought out dessert.<p>

"Since you boys are the only ones here I thought I'd make you're extra special dessert now, and make one for each of you."

"I'm sorry James, I didn't realize it was so late."

"Nonsense Justin, you were enjoying yourself and it does me good to see two young people so happy. No pressure, no worries, just fun."

With that he uncovered their individual desserts.

"May I present my specialty this evening, chocolate chip soufflé."

Both men gave an appreciative moan at the sight and smell that assaulted them when these delicious treats were revealed.

"My god James, you've outdone yourself, these smell fantastic."

Before he could say anything else Justin dug in, and while it was still very hot and had that signature deflate and cloud steam as Justin took his first bite.

"And they taste heavenly. James, I swear, I don't care what you call it or how often you make it, but I want this more often."

"Justin, I knew you would like it, and anytime you want it, I'd be glad to make it for you. Although under normal circumstances it should be ordered at the start of your meal because it does take a few minutes to make, and at least 30 minutes to cook."

"Whatever you say James, it would be worth the extra time."

"I couldn't agree more James, this is truly delicious, and I've enjoyed desserts all over the world."

"Thank you for the compliments, it always makes me happy when my food is enjoyed. You two gentlemen enjoy your evening, and leave whenever you're ready. Again, don't worry about staying too long, I secretly waited long enough to try this dessert on Justin."

"Well I might be offended, but for your dessert James, I'll gladly be your guinea pig."

They all laughed heartily at this.

"I do recall one specific chocolate torte you weren't so pleased about trying."

"Don't remind me," Justin turned to Nicholas to explain, "it was a flourless chocolate torte and smelled delicious and looked even better, but it was such a busy day that James forgot the salt, and let me tell you, it may not seem that important, but if there's one ingredient to never forget in baking, it's salt."

"It didn't affect the consistency, so I didn't notice until we ate it, and you couldn't taste anything. All you got was this mouthful of unsweetened cocoa flavored thing with no flavor… Needless to say I have never forgotten the salt again."

After exchanging goodbyes Justin and Nicholas finished their dessert, both secretly admiring the other's enjoyment. Justin still felt a little nervous about the rest of the evening, but he couldn't help the thoughts running through his head. Nicholas wasn't nervous at all, but he had no idea what was to come next. He wasn't quite sure where this night would go, but he did know that based on everything Justin had said it didn't seem a problem if they ended up at either of their places. He certainly wouldn't object to anything Justin was willing to participate in, he was also replaying their previous night together.

Neither of them mentioned what to do next, but Justin paid, and left a sizable tip; not only did he always tip very well, but he noticed that James didn't charge him for the desserts. They walked out of the restaurant together, not touching, not sure about holding hands, and both struggling with what to say next.

"Okay, this is ridiculous," Justin said as he faced Nicholas. They were standing at the curb looking around, at the few people walking around (couples, individuals, business men and women, some families … no matter what time of day or night, New York never slept), when Justin turned to face Nicholas and took his hand in his and entwined their fingers. Both men experiencing pleasant tingles where they touched, and perhaps elsewhere.

"Obviously were both attracted to each other, and there's nothing in the way of enjoying each other however we please. To quote you, and me… stand up for yourself and have some balls."

And with that Justin pulled Nicholas to him, wrapped his other arm around his waist and kissed those lips he'd enjoyed so many years ago. Nicholas was still concerned with what Justin might be thinking , but couldn't refuse the opportunity to kiss those perfect lips.

Both men moaned a little at the contact, they could smell each other's unique scent, that seemed new and somehow familiar. They still tasted like chocolate and wine, it was intoxicating. Nicholas hadn't been with anyone in a long time, and hadn't had sex in over a month. You'd think he'd get more action being in Greece, but when you spend your travels working, tricking seems a hassle.

They let go of the hand they were holding and wrapped their other arm around their partner, at least their partner for the night. The kiss was sweet and slow and wonderful, and had they not been on a public street in the middle of a busy city, there probably would have been more tongue and grinding. As they pulled back to catch their breath, they could feel each other's hard-on; blue and green eyes dilated with desire.

Taking the queue from Justin, hoping he read this right, Nicholas made the next move.

"Would you like to see my place?"

As much as Justin wanted to say yes, he was still a little hesitant on what Brian would think. Not that he answered to Brian, but he also would have to be honest, but didn't think Brian would take it that well, either. No matter what the man said about not doing jealousy, he did do jealousy, in spades, especially when it came to Justin and other men.

"I thought the idea of this evening was to show you around."

"I've seen the city, Justin, and the point of this evening was to show me a good time, and there's only one thing that could make this evening good."

"What's that?"

"You."

"Nicholas…" he didn't know what he wanted to say, but he felt the need to say something.

"Justin, I understand what you must be feeling, but I also know that we're here, in New York, I just got back from a long business trip, and as much as I have loved seeing you again and visiting for a while, I'd like to go home and relax. And I'd really like it if you would join me. We can do anything or nothing, whatever you're comfortable with. I never dreamt that I would see you again, but seeing the talented, inspiring, brilliant man you've become, I would be honored to get to know you better."

"I can't promise anything Nicholas. I don't know what I'm comfortable with now, but I must say that the prospect of seeing where you live is enticing. And I wouldn't mind getting to know you better either. If things had been different…"

"That Justin, I definitely know. I'll I'm asking is you come with me, let me show you my place, we can sit, talk, and if we end up falling asleep on the sofa, then that's fine."

Justin took a deep breath and repeated Brian's motto in his head: no apologies, no regrets, no excuses. He couldn't deny that he wanted Nicholas again. If he was with Brian and had just run into Nicholas it would be a completely different story, but as it is he and Brian are in separate cities and the only contact they have are through email and phone. He knows that if Brian asked Justin would go back to Brian in a heartbeat, but he hasn't, and he does know Brian, and he knows that won't happen. He also knows that Brian holds his heart, and can't give it to anyone else, ever. That doesn't mean that he can't share his body and share pleasure with someone he knows for a fact is great in bed. He knows he'll tell Brian about this eventually, but it will have to be in person, when they see each other again, whenever that is… but there will be a when, not an if.

He takes his earlier advice, and goes for it.

"Then by all means, Nicholas, show me your place."

And that smile is all the assurance Justin needs. His whole face lit up and he breathes a sigh of relief and delight. He parts their bodies and takes Justin's hand in his. He kisses Justin's soft rosy lips once more before turning and finding a taxi.

The ride to his apartment is quiet, but peaceful, and completely uneventful. When they arrive, Nicholas gets out first and takes Justin's hand to help him out.

"You know I can get out on my own."

"I know, but I can be chivalrous."

"And we're both gay men, I don't need chivalry."

"Well then how about I be honest and just say I wanted an excuse to hold your hand again."

Justin blushes slightly at that before responding, and taking the offered hand. "Now that I can agree to."

"I'm glad."

As they approach the door, which is being held open by the doorman, Justin can't help but whistle. "A doorman, how fancy."

Nicholas chuckles at, exchanges pleasantries with Greg, the doorman and introduces Justin (not only out of common courtesy, but just in case Justin is here again).

They take the elevator to the 10th floor, keeping conversation and contact to a minimum as a couple other residents of the building were going up to a higher floor.

They arrived at Nicholas's apartment and he opened the door for Justin.

"It's not much, but it's home to me. Make yourself at home, and I'll be right back."

Nicholas quickly made his way to his room, ignoring how good it felt to share this space with someone else, particularly when that someone was Justin.

Justin just smiled at Nicholas, wondering where he was going, but not questioning too much as he was taking in Nicholas's place. He wondered how long Nicholas lived here, if he had this place at the time they first met, he wondered where some of the unusual decorations came from. As he made his way through the living room and dining room, the windows caught his attention. Well, technically the view from the windows caught his attention. It was breathtaking, stunning, amazing, an artist's dream view.

Nicholas told him to make himself at home, and was more than happy to take him up on that offer. He opened the curtains all the way till he found the lock and handle. He slid open the glass door and was even more surprised to find a sizeable balcony, complete with table and chairs. He stepped out to appreciate the view: the tall buildings with various lights on, a veritable sea of skyscrapers, the street lights on the street below, the signals, the cars everywhere, the crescent moon in the distance, he could even make out the statue of liberty.

Nicholas changed to a more comfortable outfit of jeans and a long sleeve Henley. They had both removed their shoes in the entryway. He wasn't that concerned with any tradition or appearance, it just made cleaning easier, not that he did the cleaning, the building had a cleaning service, but it did keep the floors cleaner.

He stopped in the kitchen for a bottle of white merlot and a couple of wine glasses. He went out to the main area of the apartment to find Justin, where his breath caught and he had to stop and admire the scene before him. Knowing Justin was an artist he could only imagine what Justin was seeing beyond just the great view he thought he had. He kept his mind from going to thoughts of how right Justin looked there, or how much he wished that Justin would be there more often. Of course he wanted another night of pleasure with this incredible man in front of him, but even if it was just friendship, he would take it. He didn't know where his career would lead next, but he knew whatever time he had in New York he hoped it included Justin.

Justin was so enjoying the scene before him, imagining himself standing there in his painting clothes and easel and painting this very scene from different angles at different times of the day that he didn't hear Nicholas approaching. He jumped and gasped a little when he felt a hand take his. He turned quickly to see Nicholas standing there, clearly aware that Justin was caught in his own moment. Nicholas chuckled a little. He had wanted to stand behind Justin and wrap his arms around him, but didn't want to be too forward.

Nicholas let go of Justin's hand and handed him a glass. He poured them both wine before proposing a toast.

"What shall we toast?"

"To a delicious meal and wonderful company?"

"Definitely… and how about… the start of a new friendship?"

"I'd like that very much Justin."

They both smiled knowingly at the other before clinking their glasses together and taking a sip.

"It is an amazing view isn't it?"

"It's incredible, the different colors in the buildings and the sky, down on the street, the sea of cars, signals and people, it's poetry… god, it would be amazing on canvas, all the different angles, I could only imagine what it would like in the day, or during sun rise or sunset."

"You're welcome back here, Justin, anytime, you can use my balcony to paint, if you'd like."

"Are you serious? I mean I would love to, but…"

"Justin, I don't care what happens tonight, and like I said I have an incredibly busy life and I have no idea how long I'll be in town this time. In a city this big it would be great to have one person I know that I could hang out with and just relax. No pressure, no strings, no expectations."

Justin could sympathize with that. Being in the art world was great, and there were times he didn't have anything to do, but someone always wanted something, all his friends weren't in New York, and the few friends he had made through his art had their own careers and friends outside of Justin.

"I'm sorry I keep getting so nervous about this, about us. I guess I'm used to pressure, strings and expectations myself. It would be nice on those occasions when I don't have anything to do to be able to relax, not be alone, and not worry about what the other person expects."

"No need to be sorry Justin. I can understand, which is why I suggested what I did. It seems we could both use a friend, we just didn't expect it to be someone we knew. Albeit not your average first meeting," they both chuckle and blush at that thought and the memories.

"Then I would be honored to be able to paint here, as long as I'm intruding."

"Definitely not Justin, you can use it anytime you want. I have no social life, being out of the country tends to do that for a person. And considering I have next week off still, as long as you don't mind company, consider the balcony yours."

"I'll be honest, sometimes when I'm painting I get so completely engrossed I don't really pay attention to anyone near me, as long as your sure I won't be interrupting your week off."

"I said week off, but I'm still an attorney, I still have clients and I still own the firm. I don't have to be in the office, but I'll have more than enough to do here in my office." Nicholas didn't bother mentioning that he probably wouldn't get much done knowing Justin would be here. He positioned his office furniture to have a perfect view of the city, which means a view of the balcony. He hadn't really appreciated it before, but the thought of Justin standing out there absorbed in his painting, hair shining in the sunlight, or under the moonlight, as it is now… he was definitely looking forward to working from home.

"You have an office here?" Justin started looking around the place, like he just now realized there was more than the balcony and the view.

"Would you like a tour of the place?"

"Sure."

Nicholas brought the wine in, and they set it and their glasses down on the dining room table.

"You've seen the living and dining room. The kitchen is through here."

"Oh wow, I love it, it's so open, which is surprising since it only has one doorway."

"I don't cook often, but when I do I don't like closed cramped kitchens. I had the island added after I moved in because it actually seemed too open. I was really glad it had a big window, I think that's what makes it feel so open."

Nicholas showed Justin the front bathroom and coat closet, well, pointed them out really, there wasn't much there. Then he went down the opposite hallway and showed Justin the guest bedroom (he had no idea why he got a three bedroom apartment, but you never knew when you might need it, even though he'd never used the extra room), and his office.

"You have a view of the city from here."

"Yep, I figured if I was gonna work from home I didn't want to feel like I was still at the office, so I made sure I could see outside from here."

Justin nodded his understanding of that logic. He liked his apartment and studio, but without a change in scenery work felt like work, even if he loved painting, there were still times it felt like a job. The change of scenery from his apartment to his studio helped.

Nicholas was about to go back to the living room, but Justin asked about the door all the way at the end of the hall.

Well, he asked, "That's the master bedroom and bathroom."

Justin was contemplating what to say next. He knew that's what it was, and he noticed that Nicholas didn't point it out. That, more than anything, said that Nicholas really didn't care what happened. Justin was even pleased that Nicholas seemed hesitant to even say bedroom, much less show him. He wasn't a teenager anymore, so had a lot more control than he used to. But he was plenty young enough to feel heat and desire, and want to act on those feelings. He had enjoyed this evening a whole lot more than he thought possible. He enjoyed the company even more. He hadn't had sex with anyone in months and he hadn't seen Brian since he left for New York in the first place.

"Do I get to see your bedroom?"

Nicholas's breathing sped up a little and his pulse slightly elevated. He had hoped, fervently passionately hoped, but to hear that Justin actually wanted to see it… but he wanted to be sure.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

And with that Justin held out his hand, Nicholas only paused a second to make sure this was real before he took Justin's hand and led him to his bedroom.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** And finally the moment you've all been waiting for. I don't think I need to mention any warnings or pairings, do I? :D

**Chapter 5**

* * *

><p>As Justin walked in and closed the door behind them he paused to appreciate the view, both of the room and the man in it. He still couldn't quite believe the way this evening played out. He never thought he'd see Nicholas again, and he certainly didn't expect there to be a connection to anyone he knew. He didn't think about Nicholas often, but he never forgot him or that night.<p>

During their conversations and touring the apartment he finally realized that the reason he didn't know what to do was guilt. He felt like he was somehow cheating on Brian, and the only other time there had been a trick that was allowed a repeat was the biggest mistake of Justin's life. He and Brian had been through more than enough to know that this wasn't even close to being compared to that. He also realized that if Brian had been in his shoes (well, not the date part of the night) he wouldn't hesitate at doing exactly what he wanted.

Nicholas turned down the covers and tossed the extra pillows away. He had no idea why he had so many damned pillows, but they were definitely in the way at the moment. He was about to turn back around when he felt Justin's arms circle his waist from behind, and two warm soft lips on his neck. He shivered at the amazing sensation of someone behind him, not just anyone, but Justin. The one trick he'd always wanted again. He couldn't believe his luck in finally having him, or was about to be had, or whatever Justin wanted, he was game.

Justin couldn't help but embrace Nicholas. He'd been behind him once before, and he was very much looking forward of a repeat performance of that night. He reached down to Nicholas's pants to unbutton them… button fly, just like Brian, very nice. He knowingly caressed Nicholas's hard cock as he slowly unbuttoned each button, appreciating each gasp he got. He framed Nicholas's cock with his hands as he ground into his ass, both men moaning at the heat and pressure, the promise of what was yet to come.

Nicholas couldn't hold back anymore, he had to kiss those lips that were teasing and tormenting his neck and ears. He spun around to look into those brilliant blue eyes before attacking those lips. As their lips and tongues kissed in a frantic frenzy of pleasure, Nicholas quickly returned the favor of opening Justin's pants and cupping his hard cock. Justin moaned at the contact. He couldn't remember the last time he had a blowjob, and his hand was only a last resort. Usually he didn't care if he had sex or not, but this felt so fucking good. His last kisses had been Brian, the last longing touches and licks had been Brian. He forgot how much he missed being this intimate with someone.

Quickly their shirts were off, followed by everything else. They had slowly made their way towards the bed while barely separating their lips and shedding all their clothes. Nicholas's knees hit the bed and they both fell on it, with Justin on top. They giggled at the situation, which turned into a moan as their naked cocks brushed against each other. Unable to resist the delicious sensations Justin ground his hips into Nicholas, still not breaking their kiss. Nicholas spread his legs more to accommodate Justin, which brought them even closer together.

They slid up the bed together for better leverage. Nicholas wrapped his legs around Justin's hips while they thrust their hips together, moaning and groaning into each other's mouth. Justin sucked in Nicholas's tongue, pulling a deep groan from Nicholas and a throb in his cock. Justin thrust his hips against Nicholas harder, as he tongue fucked Nicholas's mouth. Nicholas was lost in the pleasure and arousal and ecstasy that Justin surrounded him with. This was not the boy he had met at Babylon, he still tasted the same, but this was a man, a man with all the skills and experience of a seasoned sexual predator, and Nicholas was his more than willing prey.

Their hands clung to each other as their thrusts sped up, mouths fighting for dominance, not caring who was the victor, nor caring that they were grinding like inexperienced teenagers. They were both desperate for release and didn't want to stop for a moment for anything else yet.

They broke apart momentarily to gasp for breath, struggling to breathe, but such pleasurable torture.

"Gonna come… soon… Justin…"

Justin moaned at the sound of his name on those lips, remembering the last time he heard his name like that from this man he was begging him to fuck him. And Justin knew without a doubt that once they recovered from this first fast orgasm that he would be fucking Nicholas again. He looked into Nicholas's eyes, hips not losing rhythm, as he controlled the situation again.

"Come for me Nicholas."

Nicholas's legs tightened even harder, "Oh god… JUSTIN!" He screamed his orgasm, closing his eyes tight, gasping through each surge. The pressure on Justin's cock, the feeling of Nicholas coming against him, all over him… and Justin poured his release between them. Screaming Nicholas's name, couldn't help it, hips jerking with each sprurt, grunting through the most powerful orgasm he's had in months.

Both men collapsed on the bed, trying to steady their breathing. Justin still on top of Nicholas, they could feel their softening cocks together, smell their shared orgasm. Justin felt a hand being run across his cheek and through his hair. He forced himself to lift his head up and the two shared a smile. Neither needing to speak, both knowing what an amazing moment they just shared. Justin leaned down to kiss Nicholas sweetly before rolling off of him.

Nicholas got up to get a washcloth out of the bathroom so they could wipe off. He lay on the bed facing Justin, who was on his back. Justin turned to face Nicholas, grinning when he saw the cloth. He pushed Nicholas on his back and grabbed the cloth, smiling even bigger at him. Nicholas couldn't help but smile back and allow Justin to clean him off. He only hoped that Justin decided to stay the night, and this looked very promising.

Justin leaned over Nicholas's body, originally he was debating whether to get dressed and leave or stay the night. When he saw Nicholas come back, damp washcloth in hand, come dripping down his stomach, feeling the same come pooling on his stomach, his mind was made up.

He slowly started to wipe off Nicholas's body, starting with his thighs, not that there was much come there, but it was good excuse to explore the amazing body in front of him. His body still looked the same, maybe a little more definition to his arms and legs, a little more tan as well, but definitely natural. Whatever color his hair had been, it hadn't changed much, and based on the color of his pubic hair, it was natural.

He caressed and wiped up Nicholas's stomach, getting turned-on as he was cleaning him off. He set the cloth down and opted for a more direct approach, he leaned forward to lick the few drops of come near one nipple. At the gasp he heard from Nicholas decided to lick the nipple as well, he reached up with his other hand to roll the other hard nipple between his fingers while continuing to suck and lick the other. He moved down Nicholas's chest, licking and nipping as he went. He followed the last trail of come down to Nicholas's cock, which was steadily pulsing back to life.

Justin was more than happy to see what Nicholas, on his own, tasted like. He knew he was the best when it came to sucking (second only to Brian, but very few men knew that talent), and was more than ready to show Nicholas his talent. He loved the smell of different cocks, the feel of different cocks, the taste of different cocks. He hasn't sucked any but one in a couple of years, but he definitely had a few years experience before that.

He licked from base to tip of Nicholas's cock, humming at the feel on his tongue. He swirled his tongue around the head while stroking his balls. He licked his way back down and sucked each ball in turn in his mouth. Nicholas's gasps and moans were getting louder and more plentiful as the minutes passed. Justin slowly worked his way back up and engulfed Nicholas's cock in his very willing mouth.

"Uuuunnhhh… Jusssss."

He sucked and licked and swallowed, quickly then slowly. Nicholas was still gasping out his name, writhing on the sheets. He felt Nicholas move a bit more, but was concentrated on giving Nicholas the best blow job he's ever had, when it hit him… literally. A tube of lube and a condom. He immediately looked up from Nicholas's cock, but not letting it leave his mouth. They shared an intense but brief stare, before Nicholas told Justin what he's been waiting years to say.

"Please, Justin… fuck me."

Justin moaned around Nicholas's cock, causing Nicholas to moan again. He released Nicholas's cock to pick up the condom and put it on him. He was so fucking hard, and so ready to fuck Nicholas, again. He squirted lube on his fingers to lube his cock, groaning at the feeling. He then squirt some more and tossed the tube aside. Slowly, he worked one finger into Nicholas, followed by two, then started scissoring them apart. He was still so fucking tight. Then he remembered that Nicholas said he was the last one… holy shit! He moaned again, just at the thought, drowned out by Nicholas's constant moaning at being penetrated, it hurt a little, but also felt so fucking good.

He moaned at the loss when Justin pulled his fingers out, which quickly turned into a much louder moan of ecstasy as Justin slowly pushed his cock into Nicholas.

"Oh god… Nicholas… so tight."

Nicholas could only nod and try and watch Justin. Justin slowly pulled out and slid back in, he couldn't believe how good this felt. It had been too long since Justin had fucked anyone.

"Justin…faster… please."

Now Justin could only nod. He grabbed Nicholas's hips, moved forward, and slowly slid out once more before thrusting back in.

"Aaaahhh…. Yes!"

Justin moved faster, going deeper and pounding harder. It took only seconds to find a rhythm, in and out, faster and harder, pounding into Nicholas, stabbing his prostate repeatedly. Nicholas was lost in a haze of ecstasy, to have Justin inside him again, this… this was why he didn't get fucked after Justin fucked him, no one could fuck like this, he was sure.

Justin leaned forward to claim Nicholas's mouth again in a bruising kiss, probing his mouth with his tongue as his cock entered his ass over and over. They were both moaning and panting, swallowing each other's sounds, the delicious sound of skin slapping skin and Justin's balls slapping Nicholas's ass. Every thrust hit Nicholas's prostate, every movement a friction against his cock, every kiss and lick at his mouth sensual.

They were both getting close, the steady rhythm of their hips becoming frantic thrusts. Their pants and gasps becoming groans and moans. Their orgasm hit at the almost the same time. Nicholas came hard, his ass clenching Justin's cock, pulling his orgasm out hard, almost painful. Again they collapsed on each other, wrapped around each other, completely exhausted and incredibly blissfully sated.

As Justin's cock softened and began to slip out, he grabbed the condom, pulled it off and threw it away. He took the cloth still sitting on the bed and quickly wiped them off. After pausing only a moment to consider the next choice, he looked at Nicholas, sharing a sweet smile, and realized there was no choice. He grabbed the sheet and blanket and covered them both as he lay facing Nicholas, half on, half off, noticing but not thinking that it was a similar position he only ever shared with Brian before.

Nicholas didn't want to ruin the mood by saying anything, and he was so incredibly thrilled when Justin gave him a soft kiss and laid down on him. He wrapped his arm around Justin, reveling in the feel of Justin laying on him, sharing his bed with someone, sharing his home, and hopefully his life, at least for a little while.

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><p><strong>AN**: Don't know when I'll update, but thank you in advance to all you lovely readers and followers out there who still want to read my stories even though real life has been kicking my butt and I have no idea when I'll update again. Thank you again wonderful readers. Reviews are always welcome, but I happily settle favoriting or following. :D Cheers, Laura


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